In this fake, satirical article, The Onion imagines that the MTA has finally had enough complaints about service failures and overcrowding on the New York subway. Vulgarities ensue.
"In response to numerous complaints regarding recent delays and route changes to the city’s public transportation system, Metropolitan Transportation Authority officials at a press conference Monday reminded residents that they can [redacted] walk," according to a fake news article by The Onion.
New York City is lucky to have the gold standard in U.S. public transit systems, a point that an MTA spokesperson is happy to point out: "We apologize to anyone frustrated by interruptions in service of our incredibly intricate 24-hour transportation system that provides fast commutes in relative ease and comfort…"
That's pretty much all of the quotes in the article without a veritable cornucopia of foul language more familiar on the streets and in the subways of New York rather than on the pages of Planetizen. Proceed with duly noted caution.
FULL STORY: MTA Reminds New Yorkers They Can Fucking Walk
Friday Funny: The Onion Satirizes the Federal Government’s Electric Car Fetish
The totally satirical, not-at-all-real website The Onion is back with another planning-related fake news take.
New York Needs Permeable Streets to Mitigate Future Flooding
To reduce the severity of disruptive subway flooding, the city can implement street-level solutions that absorb and redirect water before it reaches the train tunnels.
Why New York City's Flooding Its Own Subway Entrances
MTA reassured disoriented New Yorkers that it's flooding subway entrances on purpose, to test barriers that it hopes will guard the system against another Sandy.
National Parks Layoffs Will Cause Communities to Lose Billions
Thousands of essential park workers were laid off this week, just before the busy spring break season.
Retro-silient?: America’s First “Eco-burb,” The Woodlands Turns 50
A master-planned community north of Houston offers lessons on green infrastructure and resilient design, but falls short of its founder’s lofty affordability and walkability goals.
Delivering for America Plan Will Downgrade Mail Service in at Least 49.5 Percent of Zip Codes
Republican and Democrat lawmakers criticize the plan for its disproportionate negative impact on rural communities.
Test News Post 1
This is a summary
Test News Headline 46
Test for the image on the front page.
Balancing Bombs and Butterflies: How the National Guard Protects a Rare Species
The National Guard at Fort Indiantown Gap uses GIS technology and land management strategies to balance military training with conservation efforts, ensuring the survival of the rare eastern regal fritillary butterfly.
Urban Design for Planners 1: Software Tools
This six-course series explores essential urban design concepts using open source software and equips planners with the tools they need to participate fully in the urban design process.
Planning for Universal Design
Learn the tools for implementing Universal Design in planning regulations.
EMC Planning Group, Inc.
Planetizen
Planetizen
Mpact (formerly Rail~Volution)
Great Falls Development Authority, Inc.
HUDs Office of Policy Development and Research
NYU Wagner Graduate School of Public Service