Friday Funny: Detroit Bound For Scrapyard

Like so many of the cars it produced, Motor City is heading for the scrapyard, the Onion reports.

1 minute read

April 7, 2006, 2:00 PM PDT

By Michael Dudley


"The decision to demolish and cull Detroit for scrap was approved last month by a 6-3 City Council vote after a cost-benefit analysis revealed that, as a functioning urban area, it held a negative cash value.

According to scrap dealers, Detroit is an aging city in fair-to-poor condition, with 'substantial wear and tear.' It also bears the marks of extensive fire and rust damage, and it may not comply with current U.S. safety and emissions standards.

Once dismantled and processed, Detroit is expected to yield nearly 14 million tons of steel, 2.85 million tons of aluminum, and approximately 837,000 tons of copper...China is the world's largest buyer of scrap metal, and could receive up to 80 percent of the city."

Wednesday, April 5, 2006 in The Onion

portrait of professional woman

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching. Mary G., Urban Planner

I love the variety of courses, many practical, and all richly illustrated. They have inspired many ideas that I've applied in practice, and in my own teaching.

Mary G., Urban Planner

Get top-rated, practical training

Red 1972 Ford Pinto with black racing stripes on display with man sitting in driver's seat.

Analysis: Cybertruck Fatality Rate Far Exceeds That of Ford Pinto

The Tesla Cybertruck was recalled seven times last year.

July 2, 2025 - Mother Jones

Close-up of park ranger in green jacket and khaki hat looking out at Bryce Canyon National Park red rock formations.

National Parks Layoffs Will Cause Communities to Lose Billions

Thousands of essential park workers were laid off this week, just before the busy spring break season.

February 18, 2025 - National Parks Traveler

Paved walking path next to canal in The Woodlands, Texas with office buildings in background.

Retro-silient?: America’s First “Eco-burb,” The Woodlands Turns 50

A master-planned community north of Houston offers lessons on green infrastructure and resilient design, but falls short of its founder’s lofty affordability and walkability goals.

February 19, 2025 - Greg Flisram

Screenshot of shade map of Buffalo, New York with legend.

Test News Post 1

This is a summary

0 seconds ago - 2TheAdvocate.com

Red 1972 Ford Pinto with black racing stripes on display with man sitting in driver's seat.

Analysis: Cybertruck Fatality Rate Far Exceeds That of Ford Pinto

The Tesla Cybertruck was recalled seven times last year.

18 minutes ago - Mother Jones

test alt text

Test News Headline 46

Test for the image on the front page.

March 5 - Cleantech blog